Love relationships with significant age differences have existed since ancient times in our society. However, new trends and concepts have now emerged that add striking ingredients to this type of love affair, such as “love agreements”, where money, beauty, social status and company are the payment for establishing a commitment.
In this context, the so-called Sugar daddy, Sugar baby, Sugar mommy, Toy boys and Milf are born, who share in common the difference in years and the desire to satisfy their partner’s desires in exchange for something, be it experience, protection or some economic interest.
LET’S BEGIN BY CLARIFYING CONCEPTS
To understand the map of new couples and ways of relating, in Vida Magazine, we explain each of the concepts that have emerged around this type of relationship and its characteristics:
Sugar daddy: refers to that experienced and successful man who has a “big pocket” and is over 50 years old. He is usually a business guy, a lover of the good life and the company of attractive, nice women, and above all, young people.
Sugar mommy: refers to that empowered, successful and determined woman, who is over 50 years old, and knows how to enjoy good company and good sex. Among her attributes, experience and generous checking account stand out.
Sugar baby: she is a young and attractive woman who seeks to have a privileged life and a worry-free future; she likes trips and gifts, so she does not hesitate to look for an experienced man who can satisfy her whims.
Milf: it is said of that mature woman, sure of herself, dedicated to her care and style. Believe it! She has nothing to envy a twenty-year-old since her more than four decades of experience are her greatest ally. The term “Milf” is an acronym in English that abbreviates the phrase “Mother I’d Like to Fuck”, that is, “mother with whom she would have sex” (or something like that). The main characteristic of a “Milf” is that it is “the dream of many teenagers”.
Toy boy: that young and handsome man who relates to an older woman in exchange for protection and economic stability, although this does not necessarily have to do with economic issues. Women (or men) who are related to a “toy boy” defend this choice by arguing that a young man “revitalizes” an older person, something like a “botox for the soul”.
AGE DIFFERENCE, JUST A NUMBER?
Alejandra is 25 years old, she is from Viñamarina and she has been in a relationship with a 45-year-old man for three years. Although she does not define herself as a “sugar baby”, she values ??how positive her courtship has been, specifying that “if I rescue something from my boyfriend, it is that he has taught me a lot, I have matured in several aspects with him. He gives me protection and stability that is not only financial but emotional.”
As she explains, she could not define herself as a “sugar baby” or her partner as a “sugar daddy“, since they are terms that are born under a logic of interest. Still, she does recognize that it is a funny way that people define them for reference to their age differences.
Francisco Somarriva, director of the College of Psychologists of Chile, explains why certain people tend to look for older partners, pointing out that “there are those who need what they long for, the relationship they had with their father or mother.” From this logic, it would not be uncommon for some women or men to fall in love with people similar to their parents because they seek protection, family or economic stability, and feel maternal love, among other reasons.
For his part, Christian Thomas, sex therapist and director of the Center for Sexuality Studies Chile emphasizes how important experience is in this type of relationship. “An older man or woman gives experience and unconsciously protection and care, and in the case of young men they give great strength and sexual energy. For her part, the young woman gives purity and needs to learn from someone experienced, ”he points out.
BENEFITS AND CONSEQUENCES OF THIS TYPE OF AGREEMENT
As for the consequences of this type of relationship, we can say that what can cause damage is not the type of relationship, but rather that the rules of the game are not clear from the beginning.
As Francisco explains, the main problem with this type of love agreement is that at some point, one member of the couple plays outside the rules or wants to add a new one since “as a relationship stabilizes and consolidates, new desires can arise and that causes the norms to become obsolete. There comes a time when there are two paths: the relationship changes and grows, or it finally ends. When it ends, for this reason, phrases such as “she got confused”, “she fell in love and that’s all she got here” are often heard.
But not always everything ends badly. In love agreements where the rules of the game are clear from the beginning, openly and without prejudice, the main benefit is the enjoyment of a satisfactory sexual life, sexual revitalization and the freedom to end the commitment when necessary.
No one denies that this type of relationship can end in love; after all, understanding each other in intimacy is fundamental and adds many points.
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